Self-Combust is a Macintosh OS X application that does exactly what its name suggests. It's supposed to be funny, but it's probably not. The program is, in fact, meant to be bad and was written with the hopes of possibly achieving the lowest rating ever for a program from MacAddict.
Obviously, this program is free.
Frequently Asked Questions
(questions and answers have been completely made up by the author since no one has yet to show any interest in it).
What does this program do?
Not much.
Why do I need it?
You don't.
Why was it written?
Finally, a good question. I wrote this program with the hopes that I might be able to receive the lowest-ever rating for a program from MacAddict. The Letters section of the July 2003 issue of MacAddict has a letter asking why the "zero-widget" rating has never been used. The reply to this question from the editors explained that nothing had yet been encountered that was worthy of such a low rating. To earn it, such a program "would have to hose our system, self-combust, or make some other grandiose mess to warrant such an honor." I decided to opt for the second option: self-combusting. I don't even know if the editors at MacAddict will even look at it, but I do hope this program is worthy of such a horrendously low rating.
How much does it cost?
I would feel to ashamed to charge money for this, so it's free.
Does it really self-combust?
Yes, at least in the virtual-computer sense. If all goes well when running the program, it will self-combust and destroy itself. Thus, if you want to run it again you will have to download it again. Just in case it doesn't completely work for some reason (I occasionally and sporadically encountered errors emptying the trash while testing the program), delete everything associated with the program, download it again and then try to run it again. It's always worked for me the second time around.
Is it safe?
This program is not a virus, it's not malicious, and it should not cause any harm to your computer. There is nothing lewd or explicit, and there's no foul language--it's just a really poor attempt at being funny. However, if you have any files in your trash can that you want to save (by dragging them out of the trash), then by all means please do so before running the program! Even though nothing bad should happen, I make no promises or guarantees.
If the program doesn't work the first time, or if you want to run it again (an unlikely desire): drag anything associated with the program to the trash, download a fresh copy, and try again. It almost always works the second time around and it does self-combust.
What about the audio / visual effects?
I hope I did not violate any (too many) copyrights with the images and sounds I've used. But to give credit where credit is due, here are the sources of everything I "borrowed" for this program.
Images
Gas Can <http://www.aetc.randolph.af.mil/se2/torch/back/2002/0202/believe.htm>
Matchbox <http://linux.clare.cam.ac.uk/~dct25/photos/cooks-matches.jpg>
Fire Extinguisher <http://www.fireworks.com/images/interior/fw_safety-extinguisher.jpg>
Safety Goggles <http://www.estwing.com/safety.htm>
Logs <http://muextension.missouri.edu/explore/figures/g0545003.gif>
Smokey Bear <http://www.islandillusions.com/smokeyb.jpg>
Flammable Sign <http://www.lemel.co.il/posters/isreal/flammable.jpg>
Trash Can <http://www.noeticart.com/clipart/trashcanc.gif>
Sounds
Pouring Sound <http://www.pacdv.com/sounds/index.html>
Matches <http://www.geocities.com/t_crisp/sounds>
Cheering <http://www.geocities.com/t_crisp/sounds>
Explosion <http://www.matthawkins.co.uk/html/sound_fx_explosions.htm>
Crackling Fire <http://www.prankcallsunlimited.com/freesound5.htm>
Where can the program be found?
On my website.
What's your website?
This program was originally found at http://www-personal.umich.edu/~hanauer/Self-Combust/
and this is the website to which MacAddict refers.
It has since been moved (as of early 2004) to a new site at http://www.SuperMagnus.com.
Who are you?
David Hanauer. My e-mail address is hanauer@umich.edu.
The program isn't very good, you know.
I know.
You're not very funny either.
No more questions please.
June 09, 2003